I love Thanksgiving - and perhaps later I will post about it, and how I was 98% clean eating on that holiday (yeah me...but boo my body who rebelled against the 2%!!)
But Today - my post is about one of the most amazing and special people in my life....My Husband, Dave.
Today is our 6th Wedding Anniversary and there is so much I need to say about this gorgeous man, and how he changed my life...
And to do so - I'm going to revert back to that car ride on the way to Sharon's when I decided my life was made up of song lyrics...
I was listening to the Broadway Channel on Sirius (Yes - the Broadway Channel. Stop Laughing.). Les Mis came on - and as some of you may know, I can sing that musical, word for word, every song- it is my favorite. I was introduced to Les Mis in the late 80's or early 90's when our high school chorus sang some of the songs for our concert. We also had gone to see the musical and I was completely hooked.
The Song that came on was I Dreamed A Dream... I had always been so moved by this song. Always. I did not have an easy teen years and my 20's weren't much better. I spent a lot of my time dreaming, day dreaming and writing about how it would be better. How it could be better. What I wanted, how I wanted it... but it just wasn't so - it was just dreams.
This song... This lyric... "I had a dream my life would be - so different from this Hell I'm living - so different now from what it seemed...Now life has killed the dream I dreamed."
Back then, I could hardly sing this song with out tears, with out breaking down because, yes - I felt my life was hell**, it was horrible and I was ugly, unhappy, not worthy and not deserving of anything. It was if that song was baring my soul to how unhappy I was. I know why now - after a lot of work, and am working on making sure its all fixed - but that too is another post.
(**Yes, please understand that I realize my "hell" is so very...minimal compared to the reality of what other people have gone through, to what the world has gone through, to the horrors that are out there... But you must know, to a struggling person - a teen and insecure 20 something year old... it was <and is> MY HELL and has left many, many scars.)
So anyway, this song comes on (a few months ago) and I couldn't help but think - I do not feel that anymore. I do not feel that at all. I have not felt that way in quite some time - years even. I feel like I am living a dream - I am living my day dreams - I am living the stories that I have written. I am living my dream come true - and my Happily Ever After.
Most of the reason (but - no... not all) is because of this man. I say not all, because I had begun working on myself about two years before I met Dave. I had accepted myself for who and what I am, how I looked and how my life was going at that time. I accepted that I could love myself - which did account for a tremendous amount of change in my world. Which lead to me believing in myself enough and putting myself out there - for online dating.
I wish I had a copy of the first picture I ever saw of him from his online profile. I say this bald headed, almost pirate looking man with one one eyebrow up, just needed an earring to complete the picture. I knew just by looking at him that he was it.
I'll save you the specific details, but I broke just about every rule I had when it came to online dating - for him. We met with in one week for our first date at South of the Boarder. It was a lovely date with good conversation - I kept my hands in my napkin for most of the time - Dave thinking I was nervous, but me - I was trying to keep my hands from reaching across the table and touching his head! When I left the restaurant - I called my sister and my best friend and told them in no uncertain terms - I just met the man I was going to marry.
We went on a few dates - and Dave got a bit spooked but I was still unwavering that this was my future. Again - details spared - but we began dating again in January - and have been together ever since.
Before meeting Dave, I have never felt so special...I have never felt so beautiful...I have never felt so cherished...I have never felt so lifted up...I have never felt so taken care of...I have never felt so loved...as I do when I am with him. He is my home and my safe place.
I had never known someone (who was my partner) who was able to put someone else before them selves the way I did (we both still do - and as amazing as it is - it can be frustrating - but again, that is another post!). Dave has the ability to light up a room, his smile makes my soul light, his laugh makes me laugh and when he touches my hand - (even now, 12 years later), I get goose bumps and butterflies in my stomach. His love for life is contagious, his love for others and his ability to be there for anyone at a moments notice is amazing. He has such a gregarious personality that is addicting and infectious. He makes anyone in his company feel like they are the only one in the room with him - and that they are his focus. I know all of what I say - to those who have known Dave for his entire life, or to those who have just met him - is nothing new - for anyone who knows Dave - they know its true. The goodness of his very soul just radiates around him and wraps you up in his big bear hugs.
I'm just the lucky one who gets to feel like that every single minute of every single day - for the rest of my life.
I knew the day he asked me to marry him was on of the most special days of my life. We knew we would be together, we knew we loved each other, but that this man wanted to make it official meant the world to me.
The day we got married - was the most amazing day of my life. I can remember every nanosecond of that day. Some times it is like a slow motion movie in my head - each detail of that day, the day he became my Husband... is more vivid than any rainbow, any sunset, any sunrise. LOL... I remember being upstairs at our Venue with Dave downstairs - because we were waiting on a the flower delivery so we could do the 'reveal'. I didn't want to wait one more second to see the love of my life (after being away from him for the night) and I pulled my sister aside and told her that I didn't give a fuck about the flowers, that she needed to tell the photographer to get it together for the reveal asap or I was walking on down stairs to my man and pictures be damn!
|This is my most absolute favorite picture of us - our first dance as a married couple |
and I literally just said to him... I can't believe I am your WIFE!!!
This man is my whole world. I thank God and the Goddess every single day for bring him into the Emilyverse. He makes the Emilyverse possible. He gets and understands the Emilyverse, more than I do - and that is an amazing feat. He knows all about the girls in my head and he accepts they are apart of me and accepts me for who I am; he doesn't point out my flaws and faults (though he may laugh at them, and helps me be able to laugh at them too), but accepts them just as clearly as he accepts me. He is my rock, my foundation, my support in such a way that I feel like the child of Wonder Woman and the Hulk (no offence to my parents!).
No amount of words that I can say, write or think can ever fully express what this amazing human being means to me. My heart is so full and he is the reason, he is every reason.
We have always told each other that "you are my love, my life, my heart, my soul". No truer words have ever been spoken - he is my world. He is my Universe.
David, "These three words, Are said too much, They're not enough. If I lay here, If I just lay here, will you lie with me and just forget the world?"
and as always... our song...
"You and me together, we could do anything, Baby. You and me together, yes, yes.
We can always look back at what we did
All these memories of you and me baby
But right now it's you and me forever girl
And you know we could do better than anything that we did
You know that you and me, we could do anything.
You and me together, we could do anything, Baby - the Two of us together, we could do anything."
These "not enough" words will have to do - I love you, David. I completely adore you. You are my whole heart, my entire soul, my very life - Thank you for loving me; for being mine. I am the luckiest person in any Universe because I have you by my side.
Happy Anniversary my most amazing love. You are a gift to this world and I am lucky enough to be apart of it and to share you with it.
Until Next Time...
Mrs. David Taylor