How Life Changes...Thank God!

Hello All - and I hope you had a very Happy Thanksgiving!! 

I love Thanksgiving - and perhaps later I will post about it, and how I was 98% clean eating on that holiday (yeah me...but boo my body who rebelled against the 2%!!)

But Today - my post is about one of the most amazing and special people in my life....My Husband, Dave.

Today is our 6th Wedding Anniversary and there is so much I need to say about this gorgeous man, and how he changed my life...  

And to do so - I'm going to revert back to that car ride on the way to Sharon's when I decided my life was made up of song lyrics...  

I was listening to the Broadway Channel on Sirius (Yes - the Broadway Channel.  Stop Laughing.).  Les Mis came on - and as some of you may know, I can sing that musical, word for word, every song- it is my favorite.  I was introduced to Les Mis in the late 80's or early 90's when our high school chorus sang some of the songs for our concert.  We also had gone to see the musical and I was completely hooked.  

The Song that came on was I Dreamed A Dream... I had always been so moved by this song. Always.  I did not have an easy teen years and my 20's weren't much better. I spent a lot of my time dreaming, day dreaming and writing about how it would be better.  How it could be better.  What I wanted, how I wanted it... but it just wasn't so - it was just dreams.  

This song... This lyric... "I had a dream my life would be - so different from this Hell I'm living - so different now from what it seemed...Now life has killed the dream I dreamed."

Back then, I could hardly sing this song with out tears, with out breaking down because, yes - I felt my life was hell**, it was horrible and I was ugly, unhappy, not worthy and not deserving of anything. It was if that song was baring my soul to how unhappy I was. I know why now - after a lot of work, and am working on making sure its all fixed - but that too is another post. 

(**Yes, please understand that I realize my "hell" is so very...minimal compared to the reality of what other people have gone through, to what the world has gone through, to the horrors that are out there... But you must know, to a struggling person - a teen and insecure 20 something year old... it was <and is> MY HELL and has left many, many scars.) 

So anyway, this song comes on (a few months ago) and I couldn't help but think - I do not feel that anymore.  I do not feel that at all. I have not felt that way in quite some time - years even. I feel like I am living a dream - I am living my day dreams -  I am living the stories that I have written.  I am living my dream come true - and my Happily Ever After.

Most of the reason (but - no... not all) is because of this man.  I say not all, because I had begun working on myself about two years before I met Dave.  I had accepted myself for who and what I am, how I looked and how my life was going at that time.   I accepted that I could love myself - which did account for a tremendous amount of change in my world.  Which lead to me believing in myself enough and putting myself out there - for online dating.

I wish I had a copy of the first picture I ever saw of him from his online profile. I say this bald headed, almost pirate looking man with one one eyebrow up, just needed an earring to complete the picture.  I knew just by looking at him that he was it. 

I'll save you the specific details, but I broke just about every rule I had when it came to online dating - for him.  We met with in one week for our first date at South of the Boarder.  It was a lovely date with good conversation - I kept my hands in my napkin for most of the time - Dave thinking I was nervous, but me - I was trying to keep my hands from reaching across the table and touching his head!  When I left the restaurant - I called my sister and my best friend and told them in no uncertain terms - I just met the man I was going to marry. 

We went on a few dates - and Dave got a bit spooked but I was still unwavering that this was my future. Again - details spared - but we began dating again in January - and have been together ever since. 

Before meeting Dave, I have never felt so special...I have never felt so beautiful...I have never felt so cherished...I have never felt so lifted up...I have never felt so taken care of...I have never felt so loved...as I do when I am with him. He is my home and my safe place. 

I had never known someone (who was my partner) who was able to put someone else before them selves the way I did (we both still do - and as amazing as it is - it can be frustrating - but again, that is another post!).  Dave has the ability to light up a room, his smile makes my soul light, his laugh makes me laugh and when he touches my hand - (even now, 12 years later), I get goose bumps and butterflies in my stomach.  His love for life is contagious, his love for others and his ability to be there for anyone at a moments notice is amazing.  He has such a gregarious personality that is addicting and infectious. He makes anyone in his company feel like they are the only one in the room with him - and that they are his focus.  I know all of what I say - to those who have known Dave for his entire life, or to those who have just met him -  is nothing new - for anyone who knows Dave - they know its true.  The goodness of his very soul just radiates around him and wraps you up in his big bear hugs.

I'm just the lucky one who gets to feel like that every single minute of every single day - for the rest of my life.

I knew the day he asked me to marry him was on of the most special days of my life. We knew we would be together, we knew we loved each other, but that this man wanted to make it official meant the world to me.  

The day we got married - was the most amazing day of my life.  I can remember every nanosecond of that day. Some times it is like a slow motion movie in my head - each detail of that day, the day he became my Husband... is more vivid than any rainbow, any sunset, any sunrise.   LOL... I remember being upstairs at our Venue with Dave downstairs - because we were waiting on a the flower delivery so we could do the 'reveal'.  I didn't want to wait one more second to see the love of my life (after being away from him for the night) and I pulled my sister aside and told her that I didn't give a fuck about the flowers, that she needed to tell the photographer to get it together for the reveal asap or I was walking on down stairs to my man and pictures be damn! 

This is my most absolute favorite picture of us - our first dance as a married couple
and I literally just said to him... I can't believe I am your WIFE!!! 

This man is my whole world.  I thank God and the Goddess every single day for bring him into the Emilyverse.  He makes the Emilyverse possible.  He gets and understands the Emilyverse, more than I do - and that is an amazing feat.  He knows all about the girls in my head and he accepts they are apart of me and accepts me for who I am; he doesn't point out my flaws and faults (though he may laugh at them, and helps me be able to laugh at them too), but accepts them just as clearly as he accepts me.  He is my rock, my foundation, my support in such a way that I feel like the child of Wonder Woman and the Hulk (no offence to my parents!).  

No amount of words that I can say, write or think can ever fully express what this amazing human being means to me.  My heart is so full and he is the reason, he is every reason. 

We have always told each other that "you are my love, my life, my heart, my soul".  No truer words have ever been spoken - he is my world.  He is my Universe. 

David, "These three words, Are said too much, They're not enough.  If I lay here,  If I just lay here, will you lie with me and just forget the world?"

and as always... our song...

"You and me together, we could do anything, Baby.  You and me together, yes, yes.

We can always look back at what we did

All these memories of you and me baby

But right now it's you and me forever girl

And you know we could do better than anything that we did

You know that you and me, we could do anything.

You and me together, we could do anything, Baby - the Two of us together, we could do anything."

These "not enough" words will have to do - I love you, David.  I completely adore you.  You are my whole heart, my entire soul, my very life - Thank you for loving me; for being mine.  I am the luckiest person in any Universe because I have you by my side. 

Happy Anniversary my most amazing love.  You are a gift to this world and I am lucky enough to be apart of it and to share you with it. 

Until Next Time...

Mrs. David Taylor

I Joined the Cult & I Drank the Kool-Aid...

Hi There,  

I hope everyone is doing fine... I am.  Really, I am.  I've been feeling good and I attribute it to more than just my clean eating.  

I joined the Smoothie Cult. ;)

And I feel good! (And a bit resentful...I'll get back to that at a later post.)

I've been doing a lot of reading about having smoothies for breakfast (or lunch for that matter) and was a bit iffy on trying it.  First - I just have a regular blender and they say (they - who are they??) that it doesn't crush up the ice and other ingredients enough.  Yeah, and who wants to chew their smoothie... so no thank you.  Second - after a lifetime of Carnation Instant Breakfasts and Slim Fast shakes, I simply don't have the stomach for the powdery, chalky, ground cardboard flavor of protein powders that haunt my childhood and teen memories.

My friend Kristy turned me on to one thing that changed my mind a bit.  The NutriBullet! She swears by it and I look it up online.  Um - NO, I'm not going out and spending $150.00 on something to grind up fruit and ice - seriously people.  

But then - Macy's did have it on sale for 99.99, and a friend had a discount coupon that I was able to use...and I did have a gift card to Macy's.  So low and behold, I buy my NutriBullet for about $50.00.  Step one...Check. 

Protein Powder.  I have zero clue which is a good one or bad ones - so Kristy offers to give me a taste test of the two she uses, so I can test it out with out a huge financial commitment. Very cool.

Except - my very cute, very loving, very sweet, very Un Cool dogs...

...are Dicks. I get home with my NutriBullet and walk in to this:

Protein Powder all over the place!

I do get it... I left the two Ziploc bags on the counter, where one of them (likely Sam, the taller one) can sit on the sofa, reach his head over the pass through and take them off the counter.   I don't get that they freaking know they're not allowed to do this and always feel terrible when I get home and say "What the Fuck?!?"  But I take a deep breath and calmly take the cover off the dog bed, shake it out side and sweep up.  Smoothie will have to wait til next day when I can just go out and buy some protein powder and try it out. 

I get a bit too busy to go to the store and my other friend brings in a bag of the protein powder she uses (it was one of the same ones Kristy had given me).

OK - time to finally try this awesome smoothie! 

Then... BAM!!

No - I am not kidding - the Dicks did it AGAIN!!  This was left on a different counter (one they'd actually have hop up on their two front paws) to get to - and it was all the way at the back of the counter! I can leave anything on that counter and it doesn't get touched - but the freaking sniff out the protein powder?!?!  I swear - the two of them laugh at me the minute I walk out the door and conspire all day as to what they can do to piss me off when I get home. 

So - Stop and Shop, here I come and I buy a random brand of vanilla powder and all the other items I would need to try out my very first Protein Smoothie... so I can at least get this thing up off the ground - so finally... Step two... Check. 

Step three - Preparation.  Of course that goes hand and hand with clean eating, so I set up my Zip lock bags and get ready to put my ingredients in them.  In each bag goes:

1 cup of Spinach  

1/2 (or 1 - depending on how many I had!) of a Banana with 1 cup of mixed, frozen, no sugar added berries.  (This was strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries)

2 tablespoons of plain Greek Yogurt (I froze mine ahead of time to make life easier, each section of my ice cube tray is one tablespoon)

Then I froze the baggies.  The next morning, I took one bag out - put it in my Bullet container, along with:

1 tablespoon of Almond Butter

1/2 teaspoon of Cinnamon

1 Scoop of the random protein powder 

1 1/2 cups of Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk.

I let the bullet do its thing -and out comes my Smoothie!  I love that with everything frozen already - I don't need to add any ice so its not watered down at all and it tastes... delicious. Sort of. 

I've been 'suffering' through this protein powder that I purchased and it is OK... it does taste like I'm drinking powder.   The other flavors mask it well (especially the one day I left out the Almond butter - it was like... grainy and dry) but I can still tell its there (though adding a touch of honey to it helps!).  

I am finding though, that I really do enjoy having my smoothie in the morning and it keeps me very full - so full that I have not really snacked in the mid morning and it is almost a fight to eat all of my lunch.  So I take that as a win!  Last week, I had a smoothie every morning except Sunday when Dave and I went out to breakfast.  I had a piece of whole grain toast with avocado and one egg.   It was delicious - but I missed my smoothie.  I'd been feeling pretty energized in the mornings and that Sunday I felt different.  So I smoothied for lunch and all was right in the world!  

Now I have jumped in and bought the protein powder that my friends recommended - sight untasted thanks to Sam and Lilah.  It is supposed to be delicious and I am hoping so because it is a bit pricey (though will last for a full month - so I'm told).  It was just delivered to my house today - so I'll update this tomorrow and let you know how it goes.  

And - one day soon, I'll try a new smoothie recipe - but I do like the flavors in this one a lot - so why switch up if I'm enjoying myself!  

Until Next Time...

EAT (or...Drink!!)